It is Thursday, August 15, and we are at MD Anderson. I’m
sitting here watching people drinking their barium in preparation for their CT
scan. So many long faces, whispering here and there, but eerily quiet.
There are so many thoughts that flow in and out of my head. Today as I sit next
to a heavily textured window, I see that people are walking by, their bodies
appearing as moving silhouettes. My mind wanders off as I watch them walk by. A
thought pops into my head. What is life
going to be like when we leave this earth? Will the halls of heaven be bustling
with people like they are here? Maybe. In my heart, I believe they will. Some
days, dying scares me to my very core, but today as I watch the images pass by
my window my heart is comforted. Cliff is doing well, I think. We will find out
tomorrow when our oncologist reveals what he sees in the CT scan. In the
meantime, I am learning to enjoy our life and all the ups and downs it brings.
It has taught me that this is really what life is all about and that it is up
to us to find happiness in the chaos.
Friday, August 16. Appointment
with Dr Kopetz....
Have you ever been told that you are “NOT TYPICAL”? That’s what
Cliff’s oncologist told him today after Cliff asked him if he thought his
journey was typical of metastatic colon cancer. Dr Kopetz told him that
his cancer seems to be indolent and that it reacts very well to chemo. I
really like NOT TYPICAL. Cliff still has cancer in his lungs, but we are seeing
some shrinkage and cavitation (the center of the tumor is dying). I think the
only disappointment we may have experienced was when I asked the oncologist if
he ever thought we could be friends with “NED”. He gave me a strange look
and said, “who’s Ned”? “NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE”, I replied. He
chuckled and said, “probably not”. We knew the odds were against us on
that, but one can always hope. And to be completely truthful, I believe
in miracles. So there!
We have many questions to
sort out about the future, but it seems that a path is being laid out in front
of us. For that we are grateful. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine
own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct
thy paths."
Our next trip to Houston will be sometime in November.
Until then, we will continue on this beautiful journey we call life. As
always, GO FIGHT WIN!
